seek and find

One of the personal goals I set for myself during my time in Malawi was to "find God". Yes yes, I know who God is, what He's done, and what He commands, but I'm looking for more, a relationship with Him. I want faith that can move mountains, a heart that breaks for the lost. For the past month, I've been searching in books, the Bible, my strong-in-faith roommates, diligent co-workers, passionate friends, supporters back home, and the stories of the poor, but have yet to succeed. I realized that I was looking in all the wrong places. I'd become far-sighted, and couldn't see what was staring me in the face.

"The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart"

- Romans 10:8

Faith is personal. Romans 10:8 is a reminder that faith begins within. Before venturing off into foreign territory, look inside you or beside you.

Kathleen and I were discussing how we satisfy spiritual thirst along with physical thirst to the villages we visit? Because really, we're here to reach out to the rural villages. We realized that maybe that's not our battlefield(due to the circumstances, and also it's not quite sustainable). So who then can we reach out to? Answer: our co-workers, guards, neighbours. Opportunities are plentiful and friendships are already established. My job only requires me to go into the villages 2-3 times a week, and it's always different villages. I was trying to fight a fight that wasn't mine. Over the past few days, I've learned the following:

• My colleague doesn't his own children, but is raising an orphaned girl
• A high-schooler from my church was "encouraged" by my desire to use my math skills for change that he started reading about Waterloo and has his mind set on ActSci
  

I've focused so much on trying to share God's love to a distant crowd, that I've dismissed the work He can do within the people around me. It's humbling . For all I know, it could be my guards or colleagues who are the ones struggling to feed their families and it could be the people around me who are HIV/AIDS positive and fighting a constant battle. Is it not odd that I know the unemployment of Canada or Waterloo even, but don't even know the employment status of my neighbours? Or the outrageous stats of University graduates in Malawi, but don't even know if my co-workers can afford to send their children to University? It is odd, and I don't think it's right.

So not everyone'sprimary battlefield is in the rural villages of Malawi. It may not be mine, but today I learned that my night guard and I attend the same church. Your main battlefield could be the cashier you see daily at the coffee shop, your elderly neighbour, or even just your family. While(or before) helping those in the distance, don't make the mistake of overlooking those right in front of you.