do what?

despite the months of research and applications, and years of desire for missions, it only dawned on me the other day that i'm going to africa. i was a bit shocked and responded to my own thought with "i'm doing what?!"

so what am i doing?
simply put, i'll be heading to malawi to lead programs and to monitor projects being done. The programs will range from teaching English to teaching HIV/AIDS awareness and education. The projects will range from water sanitation to agriculture to microfinancing, depending on what is available. i'll be doing field visits to these programs and also do some marketing to attract volunteers to Malawi and update others on the status of these projects.

but really, what am i doing?
i'm travelling over the Atlantic to a place where I know no one and know nothing about (except to greet others with "Moni") in an attempt to "help". it sounds like i have my work cut out for me.

and what do i want to do?
i've really been questioning and wondering what exactly it is that i hope to accomplish while in Malawi. after days of contemplation, i was hoping to have an intellectual and inspiring answer, but i don't. i don't think i will know what it is i'm meant to do or why i'm going there until i get there.

i'm constantly being bombarded with criticisms of aid in developing countries. criticism that monetary donations will not be put 100% to the cause; criticism that volunteering is not sustainable, that 2 months is not enough time to be affective, and criticism of the North American mentality that our way is the right way. so the question remains: "how does a girl like me effectively aid the issues of poverty in developing nations?" by beginning with an open mind and heart. by simply following God's plans for me and just going. just go. that's the first step and He will fill in the details.