moni malawi

summer love.

2009-08-14T16:45:00.003-04:00

this is MY summer love:

http://www.ei-malawi.org/

debug her pls&ty (:
especially in IE. grr IE.

Sustainability and a Soft Heart

2009-08-05T01:54:00.002-04:00

It always amazes me how just when my feet are steadying on the new ground I tread, that the end lurks nearby, and change is yet again ready to sweep me off my feet.

When I first got to Malawi, I'd constantly asked why, and had to take deliberate time to pause and ponder my actions. I can now say that I'm getting into the swing of things. I'm adapting to the culture, to the TIA(this is africa) moments, and to the heartbreaking realities of nationals.

Within my first weeks here, my heart broke upon hearing that Ninth Grade girls were dropping out of school at an alarming rate of 1/5 due to pregnancies. I paused too long and pondered too much, and the opportunity to run workshops with these girls passed me by as they began their winter vacation. I still wonder if I could have helped even one girl if I had acted sooner.

Then, our day guard told us of his inability to pay for his son's high school tuition. We brainstormed ways to help and were fairly set on an AmazonFresh-type service. Again, I paused and had to ponder this idea. When I could no longer sit still, I talked to the guard and on the fly proposed that his wife cook us dinner twice a week. We pay her a salary that allows exercise books for his 4 youngest children, and hopefully helps in paying the high school tuition as well. However, this service needs work. What will happen when we're gone? I can't quite place a checkmark in the sustainability box.

One evening, we discovered our night guard's son was in the hospital. Asking if he was doing ok, the guard replied that yes, he was ok, but the doctor said that he needs Sobo to boost his sugar levels, and he couldn’t afford to buy it. Sobo is a juice concentrate - a small bottle costs no more than $1CDN. Our guard's son was in the hospital, and he couldn't afford the $1 it would take to make him better. The next day, we gave our guard the largest bottle of Sobo we could find. Pineapple (: Was that a sustainable action? Probably not, but at times like this, compassion triumphed sustainability, and a soft heart triumphed over a strategic action plan.

Lastly, Kathleen and I saw a crippled old woman at the market dragging herself along. We avoided eye contact, and sat on the ground eating our snack. We must have had 8 bags full of groceries, but quickly shook our heads as she reached out her hand, begging. She dragged herself along, and stopped 5m away from us. As we snuck glances at her, we decided to offer her some fruit and cookies.

After 7 weeks and meeting face to face with poverty, injustice, and illness, my heart continues to break with every struggle I hear and to be uplifted with every ray of hope. After 7 weeks, I've learned that I could have all the money in the world, I could have intelligence that revolutionize systems, I could have compassion that cries at the sight of suffering, but if I have not love, I am nothing. What good is money if I don't love the poor I am supporting? What good is intellect if I don't love the beneficiaries of systems change? And what good is compassion if I don't love enough to act on my heartbreak? Nothing. Nothing is anything without love.

Yes, there are times when questions of sustainability arise. These questions should be raised a majority of the time. But also there are times, when before judging and trying to make a strategic move, it's important to simply be human and love. To let love just overwhelm you and do what your heart reveals is the right thing to do. And these moments, moments where you just love, are byfar the sweetest ones (:

Ain't No Mountain High

2009-08-04T10:34:00.003-04:00

I had the amazing opportunity to do a 3-day climb of Mt. Mulanje-Central Africa's highest point. It was my first mountain climb(because Kathleen said the mountain by the UW colleges doesn't count).

The first day, we led the pack and climbed to the plateau in 3.5h. NBD(no big deal), as Jonny says. It felt like being on the stairmaster for 3.5 straight hours.

Day 2, we opted for Chambe Peak. It was an unusually foggy day, and our guide had never been up Chambe before. Both are prerequisites for an interesting climb. The first day was a physical challenge, but this day was an emotional challenge. After 3h, we were within 200m of the peak. However, these last 200m was a vertical free climb. Free as in no harnesses, not free as in you don't have to pay. My heart raced with every move I took. I was so close, yet so far, and I was determined to make it to the top. Unfortunately, our guide was not confident in our free-climbing skills, and advised us to go back down.

Disappointing? Very much, yes. But there are many lessons you can learn from climbing a mountain, and these lessons can be applied accordingly.

I learned that foggy days can be a blessing because you can't see how close to the edge you are, and you focus solely on your steps, not fear of falling. I learned that making it to the top does not mean a constant upward climb, there are points in which you are walking straight, and there are points when you are going down. Some steps are easy, and others can't be taken without the help of a teammate. And sometimes, you have to give yourself more credit than you think. You have to trust that you will be able to pull yourself up and get your feet onto the next footholds. That when you're not sure of your steps, ask someone who can see your path more clearly than you can. I learned that sometimes going down, and taking steps back are much scarier than taking steps forward. There are times when all you want to do is keep going, ignoring your limitations, and you have to accept that maybe you won't make it. I felt the exhilaration of pushing the boundaries of nature and self, and it felt wonderful. Maybe the timing wasn't right, maybe I wasn't ready, and maybe I'll get another chance at Chambe. 2010 anyone?

Evening Poetry

2009-07-28T08:51:00.006-04:00

my church was wonderful enough to write me one letter for each day that i'm in malawi - that's alot of letters! the letters have been wonderful and an amazing encouragement, especially when i'm having a rougher-than-usual day. i opened my letter one night and found a poem written for me. thank you tito jonie (: no one's ever written me a poem before. it's wonderful and certainly my prayer that i can live it out (:

-------------------------------------------------

The Lord Leads Me to Africa

My precious child you made me proud
you've heed my call no matter how hard
Away from home, in Africa you'll roam
so that the love of Christ will be known
and the way, truth and life will be shown

My gentle voice will always fill your ears
so it can wash away all of your fears
You'll feel alone in the middle of nowhere
Far away from home with a burden to bear
Yet my child, all's well for your Lord is near

Kristina, never be afraid if you face a wall
when problems seemed like a mountain tall
when it's hard to go on and follow the call
don't you give up, just move on and roll
The Lord your God will take care of it all.

When the path is dark as the African night
and nothing but troubles are what's in sight
I'll light up the sky and will make it bright
don't you worry, everything will be all right
I'll hold you tight, and I'll carry you my child.

A Day in the Life...

2009-07-27T02:18:00.004-04:00

in case you are wondering what it's like....

6am. Sean Kingston’s “Beautiful Girl” is my 5 minute warning to get out of bed. I grab my Bible and journal and start the day off feeding my spiritual self. Breakfast consists of a banana with oatmeal or toast and peanut butter, but always a banana because Malawian bananas are wonderful (:

7:27am. Greet the day guard with “Mwadzuka bwanji” and begin my uphill commute to the office.

7:30am. Arrive at the office. From here my day takes 1 of 2 paths:

Office Day

Field Day

Start up the computer and create a quick to-do list for the day. I open Notepad and exercise my brain by hard coding web pages. I’m a code monkey. I wrestle with style sheets until I either get too frustrated - with things like why my in-line lists don’t appear to be in-line – or the code works.

9am. Out of frustration with broken code or pure joy with working style sheets, I make myself a half coffee/half chocolate before going back at it (:

10am. I’m freezing cold so I pay a visit to different program offices and set dates to do field visits.

12pm. Lunch time (: I ask the day guard how his family is. He tells me stories of his hardships and I smile politely.

1pm. I prepare tea and toast for the guard and we agree on a way that I can help. The office is empty, so I catch up on emails before working on something more creative: print or news articles for the site.

4pm. I message Kathleen to tell her how wonderful Rhoda’s cooking smells up here. We discuss food and potential dinner concoctions.

I wrap my chitenge 2x around my waist while waiting for the vehicle to be prepared. We drive to Miloso and pick up field staff and continue an hour to our destined village.

830am. We’re well on the village roads and hear countless children jumping, waving and shouting “Azungu azungu!” before running after the truck.

9am. We arrive at a village to a group of women welcoming us in song. The team gets to work – doing demonstrations, workshops, or well rehabilitations – and I watch, and try to snap photos that capture the true essence of the project. I snap a few pictures of the children, and join in their laughter as I show them their pictures.

1130am. The team finishes their work we take time to take what the village women have prepared – a drink or meal – before continuing to the next villages.

230pm. My stomach is starting to grumble as we wrap up at the last village and set off for Zomba.

4pm. Back to the mountains. I upload my photos and select the best ones for the website.

5pm. Pack up – I must get home before it gets too dark and I can’t see the path I’m walking.

545pm. After discussing our days, Kathleen, Kirsten and I think of something creative to make for dinner.

603pm. “OH MAN…” we say simultaneously as the power goes off right when we’ve started cooking. We stumble around for matches and candles, and continue to cook on our single gas burner.

730pm. Dinner is served (always with NALI - Malawian Hot Sauce) and dessert is one piece of chocolate (must ration the chocolate!), and a banana with peanut butter. Yum =)

815pm. Dishes are done and the ironing party starts. There is someone ironing every day.

10pm. My roommates have gone to bed already and I’m still working on something. I make a hot cup of tea and toast for the night guard and ask how his family is. He tells me they’re doing well and asks me for a Bible. English, Chichewa, “Anything will do because I have no resources”, he says. I nod my head and say that I will try to get him something.

11pm. I reflect on the day and read. I pull out my daily letter from my church that always puts a smile on my face. I thank God for the day and pray for strength and wisdom, then fall asleep with more questions in my mind than I had when the day started.

When to Take a Leap of Faith

2009-07-19T09:03:00.008-04:00

[ Edit: As the typed the last line, there was a knock on the door and it was the gardener, wanting to introduce 2/5 of his children to us while the eldest son worked. ]

I was chatting with my guard the other day and asked how his family was. he said his 5 children were doing well but he was upset because his eldest son got "fired" from secondary school. a term at this school is 4000MKw (~$35CDN), but he could only afford half his son's tuition and the timing is particularly bad because finals are next week. Imagine not being able to afford secondary school? My heart breaks upon hearing struggles like this.

I let my emotions calm and went to seek advice from a colleague. it seemed like a story she'd heard a thousand times over and advised not to give him the money, unless of course I wanted to.

So I've been stuck in an emotional battle over the only options my mind sees fit:

1. Give the guard money
2. Don't give him money
3. Create a solution

If I give the guard the money, presumably, his son will be able to write his exams. However, there are 2 more terms in this school year. Do I give simply because I can? Going with option 1 is a quick fix, it's not sustainable. Even if I do give him the amount, how do I know it will go towards his son's education? I'm reminded of how Elizabeth Gilbert raised money for a house for a Balinese family, but was greatly deceived along the way.

Or I could harden my heart and turn my back? If I do not give the guard money, what will happen to his son? How will his future play out? I have the opportunity to create an opportunity for change. If valued, his education could equip with the skills needed to be a change maker in Malawi.

I analyze each pro and con and weigh the arguments on my scale of sustainability. I wonder if there are ever times when the pros and cons don't need to be weighed out, and I could just count on good people doing good things. If there can be times when we don't need to play out what is sustainable, what is better for the future, or even what is right, and just act?

I think these times exist. I've seen it happen. I've experienced it happening. I got to Malawi through the leaps of faith taken by family, friends, and complete strangers that I would be a good steward of their money.

If a stranger can take a leap of faith on me, surely I should be able to do the same.

But there is a third option. It's one that takes effort, but is the best one. Instead of simply giving money or holding back, there is a middle ground and it's not too difficult. Micro-lending, setting up a service or providing small-scale employment. So we're thinking something simple. Since we don't have a vehicle, we'll pay for him to buy and deliver our groceries. We're thinking AmazonFresh minus Amazon. We'll help sell this service to the neighbours as well so that he can continue to earn tuition money after we leave. This will be done on weekends so it does not cut into the school week. I dream of this service going to scale and maybe even paying his University tuition. Imagine?

So my leap of faith is in knowing that this will work. Am I doing the right thing? I'm not quite sure, but I'm doing something, and I know that that in itself is better than nothing.

heart of grace, soul of love.

2009-07-17T09:50:00.001-04:00

"Everybody can be great. Because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve.... You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."

-- Martin Luther King, Jr
from i-heart (:

seek and find

2009-07-16T09:25:00.002-04:00

One of the personal goals I set for myself during my time in Malawi was to "find God". Yes yes, I know who God is, what He's done, and what He commands, but I'm looking for more, a relationship with Him. I want faith that can move mountains, a heart that breaks for the lost. For the past month, I've been searching in books, the Bible, my strong-in-faith roommates, diligent co-workers, passionate friends, supporters back home, and the stories of the poor, but have yet to succeed. I realized that I was looking in all the wrong places. I'd become far-sighted, and couldn't see what was staring me in the face.

"The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart"
- Romans 10:8

Faith is personal. Romans 10:8 is a reminder that faith begins within. Before venturing off into foreign territory, look inside you or beside you.

Kathleen and I were discussing how we satisfy spiritual thirst along with physical thirst to the villages we visit? Because really, we're here to reach out to the rural villages. We realized that maybe that's not our battlefield(due to the circumstances, and also it's not quite sustainable). So who then can we reach out to? Answer: our co-workers, guards, neighbours. Opportunities are plentiful and friendships are already established. My job only requires me to go into the villages 2-3 times a week, and it's always different villages. I was trying to fight a fight that wasn't mine. Over the past few days, I've learned the following:

My colleague doesn't his own children, but is raising an orphaned girl
A high-schooler from my church was "encouraged" by my desire to use my math skills for change that he started reading about Waterloo and has his mind set on ActSci

I've focused so much on trying to share God's love to a distant crowd, that I've dismissed the work He can do within the people around me. It's humbling . For all I know, it could be my guards or colleagues who are the ones struggling to feed their families and it could be the people around me who are HIV/AIDS positive and fighting a constant battle. Is it not odd that I know the unemployment of Canada or Waterloo even, but don't even know the employment status of my neighbours? Or the outrageous stats of University graduates in Malawi, but don't even know if my co-workers can afford to send their children to University? It is odd, and I don't think it's right.

So not everyone'sprimary battlefield is in the rural villages of Malawi. It may not be mine, but today I learned that my night guard and I attend the same church. Your main battlefield could be the cashier you see daily at the coffee shop, your elderly neighbour, or even just your family. While(or before) helping those in the distance, don't make the mistake of overlooking those right in front of you.

click click

2009-07-09T17:17:00.001-04:00

for the people who just like photos (:

i moved 2 houses down the hill on the weekend with kathleen and kirsten(med student from cambridge). we are definitely not roughing it here in malawi. our house is complete with hot water, a living room spacious enough for P90X and a washing machine. However, the power does go out frequently, making our electric stove unusuable. kathleen and i are sharing a fairly large room and i even have a bookshelf and reading lamp :D

monday july 6 was malawi republic day (a national holiday), and the eggerts were kind enough to let us tag along their visit to liwonde national park. we took the company truck, which was made for game parks and spent the morning driving through the game reserve. upon turning a corner at 40km/h, we came within 10 feet of a GIGANTIC elephant :O oh my. it flapped it's ears(bad sign) and we slowly and safely backed away. a few minutes later, we stumbled upon a little baby elephant. mike drove up a few meters so that we could get a look at the mama elephant. being a tourist, i had half my body out the window in attempts of getting a good shot. all of a sudden, the mama elephant flapped it's ears, raised it's trunk (another bad sign), trumpeted(extremely bad sign), and started charging towards us(sign to get out of there!). mike stomped on the gas pedal as jonny yelled "go go go!" and i went flying backwards, with my feet flipping over my head. sure beats african lion safari ;p

we had a marvelous lunch at mvuu lodge, and kathleen and i took a boat safari along the river in the afternoon. we saw more species of birds than i can count, water bucks, crocs, hippos, and we were particularly lucky to find a herd of 50+ elephants. it was amazing to see animals in their natural habitat.

at times i feel like i'm cheating, that i'm not embracing a truly malawian experience. but why does development work or missions have to mean roughing it? i'm learning, and i think that's what truly matters.

new house complete with a washing machine (:

liwonde game park (:

we got trumpeted and chased by a mama elephant hence the blurry photos :O

romans 2:13

2009-07-08T09:11:00.002-04:00

[ Edit: Through this journey of 2 months, I want to be raw in sharing my accounts and emotions. I want to go beyond the emotional highs and the "amazingness" of being in Malawi and be transparent in who I am and what I'm feeling. ]

"For it is not those who hear the law that are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the Law who will be declared righteous."
-romans 2:13

I grew up in a Christian family, am able to recite all the books of the Bible, and know how to pray in front of a crowd, but none of these indicators prove that I'm a faithful Christian. Lots of people grow up in church, memorize the song that goes along with the books of the Bible, and have heard enough prayers to know what to say to have people "Amen" your prayers.

If I had to be completely honest, God has alot of work to do on me. I don't think I quite measure up to the faith that's required of someone in my position. And to be even more honest, I wanted to come to Malawi to find God. Whether it be through experiences of hunger or through a verse that I read, I came here ready to be broken and moulded into the person God has intended for me to be. And yes, I also came here to show God's love by doing His work.

It's very easy for me to be passive but I'm learning the urgency of breaking out of my passive comforts and executing the plans God has for me. Knowing poverty is one thing, experiencing poverty is another, and acting on poverty is yet another. If I come back with a whole notebook of lessons that God has taught and do nothing, I'd be a failure. Above hearing, I need to understand, and above seeing, I need to perceive.

This verse is a challenge not only to me, but to everyone. To everyone that knows that there is poverty in the world, there is more to knowing. To everyone that sees injustice in their community, there is more to seeing. And to everyone that hears the cries of the helpless, there is more to hearing. Knowing, seeing and hearing this holds us accountable to do something, anything, may it be small or big.

ride for africycle

2009-07-02T11:38:00.004-04:00

for my short stay at the country directors' home, i have jonny living on the other side of my bedroom wall. at the dinner table today, he announced that he would be gone for the weekend "just in case you care or something". i asked where he was going and he said he was off to Mt Mulange (Malawi's tallest mountain), not to do the climb, but to go around it. why? because that's johnny. he seems like your typical 20-something guy, but there are a few things that are not so typical 20-something of him:

Name: Jonny Perrott
Title: Africycle Country Director (Malawi)
Job: A little bit of everything.
Age: 22 and a 1/2
Status: Single
Height: Huge
Weight: 185lbs

My name is Jonny. I say and write the word “bike” in any given day enough times that it hurts. Am I a cyclist, you ask? Answer: Yes, but I think of my self more like a Cyclogist.

I live on a mountain. Cool eh? The Ride for Africycle is a thing that excites me. What are some other things that excite me, you ask? Answer: big fires, high speed, blueprint and technical drawings, big ideas, a good poo, cool drawings, nice people, keepin’ it real, good storytelling, jokes, adventure, music . . .

I am not going to be joining any of you in the “Ride for Africycle.” But, I will be doing a version of the “Ride from Africycle”
my ride will be a self supported solo ride from July 3–5/2009.

Day One: Starting at the Africycle shop located in Zomba, Malawi. I will be riding south to Mount Mulanje (Malawi’s tallest mountain)
Day Two: Riding around the mountain
Day Three: riding back to Zomba. (home) I will also be taking pictures along the way!

jonny is one of the co-founders of africycle and has been in malawi for the past 2 years setting up their initiative here. through the "re-cycle"-ing of bikes and bike shops in both canada and malawi, africycle's vision is to "use what we’ve got to provide those without opportunities the tools and a way to begin to lift themselves and their communities out of poverty.

jonny is trying to raise $100 for his SOLO ride to and around Mount Mulange - an estimated 211km while a team back in canada bikes around lake ontario. africycle is a great initiative and is truly empowering malawians. donate to africycle here.

10/50 = too many

2009-06-29T13:23:00.004-04:00

this morning i went out with the water&sanitation team to a sanitation training. the training is for members of a village in which we recently rehabilitated a well and teaches the importance of hand washing, etc. to avoid fecal-oral diseases such as cholera.

before the training started, we had the chance to speak to headmaster emmanuel of the secondary school which was allowing us the space for training. for the sake of conservation, i asked him how long he'd been headmaster, how many students he had, how many went on to college, etc. this year is his 10th, there are 300 students across the 4 grades, and about 3-5 go on to college every year, he responded. emmanuel went on to disclose his school's problem: young pregnancies. this school year alone, 10/50 first year girls have dropped out due to pregnancies.

10 out of 50.

i stared at him with a dropped jaw and felt shocked, sad and mad all at the same time. i was shocked that this statistic was so large, sad that these girls would never be able to see their dreams come true, mad that they didn't make better decisions for themselves. i looked into the faces of the girls around me and couldn't help but wonder which face would soon disappear from the school due to pregnancy. "they don't value their education" he explained.

endless questions overflowed my brain's capacity: what do these girls dream of? what will it take to decrease these numbers? why does this happen? and most haunting "what should i do? what can i do?"

so i offered to talk to the girls and lead a workshop for them. on what? i have no idea. maybe on leadership, decision-making, realizing dreams.

any advice is most welcome and needed (HE).

_____________________________________
and some fun stuff:
great great weekend (:

friday night; watched jack&the beanstalk at the international school, babysat for the eggerts, watched madagascar(go africa!), and stayed up talking to kathleen until 1am - weee party animals.

saturday: zomba market and bargained (YES, me, bargaining) 3 chitenges for 1500MK, went to thomas' 5th birthday extravaganza, and a bbq/meetup across the road that was full of masters'/phd students researching for the world bank

sunday: went to church in blantyre, split a boneless chicken lunch with kathleen since my order was missed, then no longer available, played volleyball(YES, me, volleyball!) with local volunteers, went to the local hangout to watch the confederations cup final (where this malawian man kept chanting "O-BA-MA O-BA-MA")

discussing ways that fecal waste can make its way to your mouth

paying attention in training, realizing the importance of hand washing

kathleen and i found a baby boy with asian eyes to bring home (:

im hungry.

2009-06-27T07:17:00.005-04:00

my first full week in malawi involved 4 hosted dinners in a row, a chichewa lesson, liwonde prayer day, and 2 days out in the field.

on wednesday, i went out with the world food programme(wfp) staff to do food distributions. wfp has a FoodforWork pilot wherein beneficiaries work certain tasks and are paid with food. i asked kathleen what she usually does for lunch when she's out in the field and she said "oh, well we don't really eat lunch when we're in the field". oh...ok. i brought a kitkat bar along with me "just in case".

by 11am, we were at our 2nd distribution centre and the men had to pick up more food from the warehouse. i stayed at the school with another woman. the younger children were already done school and sat in front of me staring. after my failed attempts in conversing in english and chichewa, i decided to organize a game: boys catch girls. this took 15min. for the next 2h, we played any game i could recall from my childhood. 2h later the men return and we proceed with the distributions. by this time, i was feeling a bit lightheaded thanks to the hot village sun - what a change from the mountains. i take a sip of water and feel slightly better. the lightheadedness continued and mixed in with feeling faint. i continued to find comfort in water. i felt like throwing up but had nothing to throw up. at 630pm (almost 12h since breakfast), i finally sit down for a meal.

yes, maybe i was being a bit dramatic but eating 2 meals a day is not the norm for me. yes, i could have eaten the kitkat, but it wasnt something i'd be able to share with my 3 coworkers. no, i was not going to faint, so i just sucked it up. if my coworkers are not eating, i didn't feel that i needed to either. this is culture and i didn't want to be a weak little canadian girl.

the reality is, hunger and poverty is real. it's rampant. and this experience was a lesson in humility and simplicity. i'm learning to be sincere in giving thanks for food rather than just saying the words. most malawians can only afford to eat 1-2 meals a day. most times, the meals are the same: nsima, vegetables, and sometimes a bit of meat. one coworker was asked by a malawian "i heard in canada, you eat something different for 3 days". all she could do was smile and brush it off because in canada, it's very easy to eat something different everyday for a month.

so there you have it. the girl that loves food went struggled through 12h without eating (:

world food programme projects

water & sanitation projects

time, please slow down.

2009-06-25T12:07:00.005-04:00

whether you're someone with high expectations or low expectations, the fact is that you will always have some expectations or idea in your mind of how something will be or feel. over the next 2 months, i expect to learn about international development, malawian/african culture, myself, God, and my purpose in life. and so, i've had some interesting learning experiences over the past 8 days:

malawi has mountains EVERYWHERE. mountains and valleys and trees and stars. this is a beautiful country.
there are always people walking on the side of the roads. where to? wherever their heart desires.
when offered nsima (flour-y porridge, malawian equivalent of rice), it is BURNING hot. do not try to grab it slowly with your whole hand. wet your fingertips beforehand taking it.
i am chinese, or assumed to be so. asian girl = china girl ;p maybe it's my bangs
children in the villages are shy but absolutely love to have their photo taken. they have kung fu poses.
mefloquine (my anti-malarial) will cause me to burn easily, and make my tan fade quicker (no black beauty this summer)
my chichewa rocks: muli bwanji. ndili bwino, kaya inu? mukupita kuti? ndzina langu kristina.
i'm weak. malawian women carry 15kg on their heads like it's nothing. i tried lifting with one arm and failed.
food is priced about equal to canadian food. imported food is crazy overpriced, cheerios=$30CDN.
the power goes out at least once a day for stretches of 1-3h, and usually during dinner time.
Being out at 11pm is a late night. I sleep at 1030pm, wake up at 6am, start work by 715am.

for the sake of a short post, i shall leave it at that. and of course some pictures:

victor, the papaya climber and me, the climbing failure

beautiful lake malawi (:

kathleen and i (:

battlefields

2009-06-23T06:05:00.006-04:00

oftentimes, aid workers and missions volunteers fit more or less to certain criteria: well-travelled, minimalistic, outdoors-y, big-hearted, and vocal about their passions. admittedly, i fit few if any of those criteria. i've been told "you're not exactly low-maintenance" and "i never imagined you'd want to go on missions", which makes me laugh ;p not because it's not true, but why does there need to be preconceived qualities of an aid worker or of someone wanting to go on missions?

lately i've been questioning more and more of what my place or where my calling is in this diverse world. if i had a say, i'd be an international food taster/blogger. i think i'd be quite good at that (: but really, if i had a say, it would be a position which involves alot of travelling and eating.

lately i've been learning more and more that it matters less what i want and more what God wants, more what there is a need for. i've been questioning how i can use my technical skills for change and have crossing my fingers that the answer will be one in which i can work directly with international development (travelling included!). in recent conversations, i've been told

"maybe the corporate field is your mission field. that it's not bad to make money because initiatives need to be supported somehow. if you can get a good job that pays you well, take it! because there are many people who need your support"

part of me says "Yes!" the corporate world is my battlefield. i could mitigate change amongst the for-profit sector. i could encourage people to be stewards of their money. how many ways have i complained that the corporate sector cares too much about themselves and money and too little about injustice? maybe my place is in the corporate world. but another part of me says "No..." i want to work with people. i want to be amongst the poorest of the poor and be there when they have their first taste of clean water.

so God, i'll wait for Your verdict, otherwise, i'll fail.

Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.
acts 5:38-39

entering phase 2

2009-06-22T15:38:00.002-04:00

and the honeymoon phase is over.
i miss home =(

theorize and apply

2009-06-18T10:39:00.012-04:00

when i first read that malawi is 80% christian (55% protestant, 25% catholic), i was impressed and thanked God that the people here not only know who He is, but also believe in Him. i thought this demographic would be a plus in my work.

we had a cultural orientation session with a young pastor's wife and she told us

"christianity in africa is like a very very wide lake...that's only 1 inch deep"

she continued in telling us that numbers are merely numbers and i heard firsthand her accounts that handouts and aid are not enough. victory told us how missionaries came to malawi with arms filled of things to give away and how when asked to receive Christ into their lives, people routinely raised their hands without commitment or knowing what they were doing. numbers are just numbers, used to fund projects and show concrete figures that work is being done and money is well-spent. i am slowly beginning to match faces and names to theories of development and aid. no longer is dead aid a book, but the story of a friend and of many around me.

the first dinner i was here, a newly ordained malawian pastor said grace and prayed

"Lord, bless those that do not have any food to eat today"

this prayer was sincere and so real, so much more meaningful than how i pray for the hungry.

reality and malawi is making real of the all the theories and stories i've been reading.

i live on a mountain

molly and the mountains. this dog is bigger than me :O

zomba market

zomba market; they re-use tin and make it shiny and usable

Mulibwanji!

2009-06-17T11:01:00.008-04:00

after 34h (including a 7h flight to london, 12h layover in london, 11h flight to johannesburg, 3h wait, 3h flight), i have finally arrived in Malawi. Thanks to everyone for your support and prayers in getting me here =)

Disclaimer: Please excuse any spelling, grammar or logic mistakes in this post. I am lacking sleep.

Malawi is very mountainous! Much more so than I ever imagined. Mountains all around, and I'm determined to climb some. Kathleen and I already gave word to Paul that we'd like to climb Mt. Mulanji (just less than 10 000 ft) in July. The Zomba plateau is about 7000, so we can practice with that anytime we want.

When we arrived in Blantyre, I stepped off the plane, only to look up and see a 50m balcony completely filled with people cheering and waving to their friends and family arriving on the plane. It was quite a sight and made me smile =) I looked up to look for Kathleen, Paul and Helen, but failed. So instead, I took a 360 degree look around me and marvelled that I made it. I passed immigration and was immediately greeted by Paul in the baggage claim area. How did he get there? He has connections ;p I found my luggage and we were off with Kathleen for some lunch and grocery shopping (where we definitely tried to leave from the entrance).

I exchanged $200USD ($1USD=172 Kwacha), and the largest bill is 500 Kwacha, meaning I had a big wad of money. Cereal is expensive! I think 800 Kwacha for a smaller-than-regular box, and books are REALLY expensive: 9000!

When I was landing in Joburg, I thought "I'm in South Africa...AFRICA?! I'm in Africa!" I had a beautiful sunrise flight in where we were soaring above the clouds. In the distance, I could see the soft red soft rising. It colouring the land below, but also peaked through the low clouds above. Beautiful =) I'm a sucker for sunrises.

I'm here, I'm here. I can't wait to get started and let God work through me, use me, break me, and make me into the person He desires =)

June 15: Thanks Oates family for the plane ride books!
June 16: Thanks Pastor Kevin for the card. I was definitely tired when I read it, and it was a great encouragement =)

and some photos for those that don't like to read:

wee world traveller (:

buckingham palace; im a loner =(

palace after the changing of the guards

big ben IS quite big

EYE am in london

change: embrace it.

2009-06-13T11:28:00.007-04:00

for my 21st birthday, my waterloves got me this beautiful jeanine payer necklace :D

change and i didn't always have a history of wonderful tales. we didn't always get along. the first semester of high school, the first term of university, first weeks at work, all extremely exciting times, but always mildly to overly difficult for me.

one of the most important lessons waterloo has taught me is to embrace change. in a program that required slight to extreme change every 4 months, i've learned to look forward to new chapters in life and to go at them full swing, knowing that amidst all the changes going on around me, the people and ideals i value will never change. i can almost say that i've become a change lover. i expect change and now love new surroundings, new houses, new roommates, new food, new climates, new everything. change and i have become good friends now, because change, they say, is the one of the only true constants in life.

but somehow, this time feels a bit different. for once, i'll go away and have no idea what will change, stay the same, or remain when i return. for once, i'll leave and not know how i'll change, what parts of me will be the same, or what part of me will remain when i return. this is what i fear the most: that the things i didn't want to change will, that things i wanted to stay the same won't, and that the things that remain won't be enough. i fear that the old will no longer be compatible with the new, and the new will be something i didn't want.

somehow it's not leaving that i fear, it's returning.

if i....

2009-06-08T23:58:00.008-04:00

had money to spare and no heart for what i'm doing, i'd deck myself out in the cutest humanitarian gear:

1. THE sash
2. a little shuffle
3. ray bans
4. a maxi dress
5. travel pillow
6. one-piece bathing suit
7. lulu hat
8. a cute little sony p series
9. flip flops
10. soft leather purse

;p
just saying.

heaven on earth

2009-06-08T15:38:00.008-04:00

i had the privilege of seeing hillsong united this past saturday (as I do every year). and as every year, they put on an amazing show and had 15 000 people singing, dancing, and worshiping with them.

phil dooley was replaced this year with someone from the hillsong college. he talked about how although heaven and earth are 2 separate places, sometimes it's possible to catch glimpses of heaven on earth. at the times when the naked are clothed, the hungry are fed, and the thirsty are given a drink, heaven is brought to earth.

as a Christian, i have the opportunity to bring heaven to earth. through me, God can show His glory and love. i think that's amazingly powerful. i, in all my failures and shortcomings, can provide glimpses of heaven's glory on earth.

13 Facts about Malawi

2009-06-02T20:31:00.006-04:00

why 13? because i'm leaving in 13 days.

13. One Canadian Dollar = 134 Malawian Kwacha
12. The national languages are English, and Chichewa
11. It is nicknamed "the warm heart of Africa" due to it's friendly people
10. It is among the world's 10 poorest nations, with GNI per capita is $596USD
9. Canada recently removed Malawi from it's "aid priority" list
8. Dominant religions are: 55% Protestant, 20% Catholic, 20% Muslim
7. President Bingu wa Mutharika was recently re-elected for a second term with "fighting corruption" as a priority
6. Lake Malawi is listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site due to the endemic fish showing specialized evolution
5. Almost 90% of Malawians live in rural areas
4. Maize(corn) is the staple food
3. Average birth rate per woman is 5.9 children
2. 14% of the population is infected with HIV/AIDS
1. The Blackberry is now available in Malawi

Oh man 13 days.

education: opening doors everywhere

2009-05-25T16:46:00.009-04:00

- - - - -   Degrees Awarded   - - - - -                         

Degree: Bachelor of Mathematics                                 
Honours Operations Research, Co-operative Program 

Confer Date:           June 12, 2009

i did it. i actually did it :D

many days throughout my undergrad, i would sit and despise studying. sometimes due to the content, and other times due to sheer lack of motivation. it was at these times that i'd remind myself that education is a privilege. it's a privilege and it's empowering.

everyone has their own motives for educating themselves. education itself provides countless benefits: it equips one with tools needs to earn an income, immerses one in a field which they are passionate about, and it expands networks. however, i think the most important benefit of education is that it provides one with tools needed to make a positive impact on the world. education is a catalyst for human development.

i believe that my degree combined with my co-op experience has and will continue to open my doors for my future that otherwise would have been unreachable, nonetheless openable (is that a word?) i now have the knowledge, the skills and the network i need to begin to do my part in this world. to take a step forward from being a bystander and to begin to tackle pressing issues of my time. i am no longer a student stuck in libraries, but now more than ever, a global citizen.

i don't think an education is a free pass to create your own life, but a downpayment to enhancing lives.

the world is changing. jobs are being lost, systems are broken, and the world rests on the hands of everyone. not just humanitarians, but developers, accountants, architects, musicians, and everyone in between.

like sam davidson, nicholas negroponte, and jessica jackley, i will choose to use my education and skills set for change. i imagine a world in which every grad will also choose to do so, and that world is amazing.

on the right track.

2009-05-22T13:13:00.006-04:00

i just finished the blue sweater and recommend it to anyone with even the slightest interest in international development. it is not a book which details all the problems of the world and leaves you depressed, nor does it paint a picture that going overseas with good intentions results in groundbreaking change instead, it is one that details the harsh realities of development and details the depths of the sacrifices that Jacqueline Novogratz's passions took her in her quest to seek justice.

Favourite lines/lessons:

...what is important is that individuals bring what they do best to the world.

...we need more people with tangible skills to contribute to building solutions that work for the poor.

Just start, don't wait for perfection. Just start and let the work teach you.

i don't think i need to expand on any of these because jacqueline says it best. it makes me think about the "thing" renjie, ruby, nick and i are working on and it gets me so excited. we're on the right track team.

almost...

2009-05-21T22:51:00.003-04:00

total needed: $5500.00
grand total : $5030.50
________________
balance: $469.50

almost there. almost :D
god, i am truly amazed.

thanks everyone SO very much :D

paying it forward is not easy.

2009-05-17T18:27:00.007-04:00

update: presented at pastor loel's church today and sold 10 boxes of cupcakes and 4 mocha cakes = $200 AND got to see old friends ;p not old as in old in age, but old as in from a long time ago.

yesterday, i was on my way to subway home when a young guy stopped me and said that he didn't need his day pass anymore, and asked if i wanted it. i thought it was a genuine act of kindness, so i appreciatively agreed and we parted ways.

before i even got to islington i figured i should pay it forward. i was on my way out of the station, which in my mind was the strategic location to pass along the favour, and began mission: give away day pass.

#1 a middle-aged woman. reaction: no, kept walking.
#2 a man in his 30's. reaction: ignored me. asked again, and he responded with vulgar words, thinking i was asking for money.
#3 a young couple. reaction: they had metropasses.
#4, #5 reaction: no and no.

admittedly, i was a bit discouraged and frustrated after the first 3 people, especially after the rude response by #2. isn't it a funny world we live in, where kindness is difficult to distribute? where there is no shortage of local and global issues to be dealt with and people stepping up to those issues, but also where a small, sincere act of kindness is turned away? so lessons learned:

lesson: kindness is not conditional
i admittedly did want to stop after #2 because i'm sensitive like that, but then got caught in the just-one-more mentality, where i kept believing the next person would take it. i tried a handful of times and may have failed to pay it forward, but if i had stopped trying after #1 or #2, then that would have been true failure. i would have failed because im conditioning my efforts based on the reactions of others. kindness should be taken like an exponential distribution: memory less of past failures or successes. efforts in kindness should not depend on whether the last person you tried to be kind to accepted or rejected your efforts.

edit: wow, that was mega mathie (:

lesson: not everyone wants help
i think this was highly humbling and an extremely important lesson for the summer. there i was, wide-eyed and ready to make someone's day brighter because someone had done so for me, but there were no takers. in cases where people had metropasses, i was trying to fix a problem that was already solved. in cases where people didn't have metropasses, i was trying to help in a situation where people didn't want/need help.

lesson: people don't want help from those they don't trust
a couple people responded with a kind "no, thank you" and others just reacted with a confused stare. however, had i attempted to give the pass to a friend or acquaintance, they would have surely taken it due to a level of trust we had built. in this lies the importance of building relationships. i faltered because i can't push kindness onto anyone. as good as my intentions were, clearly, it was not working for me. kindness is best passed on in its rawest, most sincere form. and this form can not be known by a complete stranger before a relationship is built. in order to effectively pass on kindness, a level of accountability and trust has to be built in order for the exchange of raw, sincere kindness to take place.

and also, if someone wants to give you their day pass, please take it. that just might make their day =)

vaccinate me.

2009-05-15T18:53:00.004-04:00

happy thought of the day:

all my vaccinations/medications are completely, 100% covered by sunlife.

rabies: $600
malaria pills: $300
typhoid: $30
prevention of all of the above: priceless

what a blessing! gotta love insurance plans :D

corporate life? yes please.

2009-05-12T22:14:00.006-04:00

i don't usually follow the stereotypes i should be associated with:
im a girl, but into math and all that technical analytical stuff ;p
im filipino, but can neither dance, sing or do anything art-sy
im a mathie, but don't play settlers, memorize 50 digits of pi, or spend friday nights programming.

however, i am admittedly in every way a gen y-er. i do everything with a sense of urgency and believe that i can and will make a positive impact. so when it came down to mapping out the next few years in my life, i was torn between pursuing a job that would make money versus a job that would make an impact because new grad jobs that combine the two are extremely rare and hard to come by. i was completely torn because i wanted both, but knew i had to sacrifice my happiness and could only have one.

"power without love is reckless and abusive, love without power is sentimental and anemic"
- martin luther king jr. (via the blue sweater)

i realized that change can be facilitated with power. jeff skoll and bill gates are just two examples of people that have leveraged their power (through ebay and microsoft) and shifted into the positions of changemakers. so i took my corporate job, and for a couple reasons:

1. i've always wanted this job
i'd been eyeing this job for a year and actually got an offer

2. corporate experience will be great experience for a social enterprise
true, i could also gain experience from starting my own social enterprise, but not the same kind of experience. my corporate job will prepare me for the business-side of social entrepreneurship. it's no secret that a number of not-for-profits fail because they're started and run with a passion for the cause and no business skills crucial to organization and decision-making. when i begin in SE, i want to have something meaningful to contribute. even if it's my privacy and security knowledge, that is something that we will definitely run into, and i think it's quite important for a SE to secure its financial and sensitive data.

3. consulting life is great exposure
i am fortunate enough to be a position where the average turnover rate is 3 years, and they don't expect you to make a career out of consulting. phew, pressure's off. deloitte is a great place to build a portfolio, to work with clients, and to have access to great mentors. i think and hope that this position will open many doors for me and help me build lasting relationships needed for a future SE.

4. people listen to people in power
i don't plan to become a partner within 3 years, but in 2 or 3 years time after i've built strong corporate and community relationships, i will have more power than i do now. credibility is never a bad thing to have.

5.i'm still trying to find my place
i don't think everyone should test out corporate life before going into social sector. after university, some people are more than ready for it and more than needed in it because they know their strengths. they know what they want to do, how they're going to accomplish it, and the means to meet that goal. for me, i'm still trying to figure it out. i'm still unsure of what my purpose is in life, where i can have the biggest "impact" and what skills i will need to use. i'm still exploring and juggling a few things in hopes of finding my calling. hehe, so cheesy. i know this summer will be life changing, and i'm going to hopefully get some answers to my unknowns.

what are you passionate about?

2009-05-12T00:16:00.004-04:00

the latest buzz in the gta has certainly been surrounding the tamil protesters. how 5000 gathered and shut down the gardiner after news that at least 378 civilians had been killed in a safe zone. i support neither the genocide occurring or the unlawful act of the protesters, but am amazed at the action being taken.

i've grown up in the gta and have never heard, nor have ever thought that such a thing could happen. there have been many protests in and around toronto, but never like this.

so i think about my beliefs, and what i would stick up for. if there was a civil war going on in the philippines that i believed was unjust, would i protest? clean water is my soft spot, but would i protest in hopes of getting the government to take action on the 1.1 billion people without clean water? in fact, is there any cause that i would be willing to run onto the gardiner and stop traffic for?

right now, my answers would be: i don't know, i don't know, and i don't know.

this brings me back to the vision of the icare project: getting people to care, and to be passionate about a social issue, any social issue. for some people this issue is buried deep down inside, and for others, you can see it in there eyes. even the people with the hardest hearts surely must care about something. stray animals or runaway teens, refugees or quietness in the community, anything really.

i think the shutdown was fuelled by a desperate passion for the issue the protesters believed in. in a way, this challenges me to be more active and less passive concerning issues i feel strongly about. less blogging, more action. less thinking, more doing.

passion: clean water
action: everything it takes to provide everyone access to clean water and nothing less

what would you do to seek justice for what you truly believe in?

the power of prayer

2009-05-07T16:40:00.011-04:00

apologies to anyone who's been waiting for a real post. i'm amused that during finals time, i would find many opportunities to post, but now that school is done, i haven't made any time at all! there really are no excuses, so what have i been doing? going full-swing into fundraising.

as today is the 58th observed national prayer day and obama signed the prayer day proclamation, it makes me think about the power of prayer.

i gave my presentation at church, and told people how God was revealing His plan for me through answered prayers. i told them how i was daunted by cost of the trip, then how Helen informed me that they had overestimated by $2000. i also told how i was worried about going alone, but then Kathleen decided to also go to Malawi and we'll most likely live together. and more recently, i've been praying about getting my funds in for tomorrow's flight booking deadline. 24h ago, i was $700 short. after 2 phone calls and being informed that my ticket went down $200 and i am now $400 over and almost half-way to $6000 =) amazing, isn't it?

while going through the truth project, one of the first questions they asked was

"do you really believe that what you believe is really real?"

it's a tough question to swallow but if i could somehow answer "yes", then wouldn't my every action be done so with humility and love? if i did really believe in the power of prayer, wouldn't i be on my knees praying all day instead of trying to make time for prayer?

i have personally experienced the power of diligent prayer. the wonder and amazement of praying for something days and weeks on end and seeing the prayer answered =) i've also experienced frustration with prayer. praying for sometihng for days and weeks on end, only to hear God say "No, not now."

last week, 10-year-old ella from church gave me this:

the two things i worry (and pray) about most are: being effective and raising funds. it's amazing for me to see ella&cd shake their allowances out of their piggy banks for my benefit when they dont fully understand what im doing. somtimes i need to be more like ella and blur out the fine details and simply understand that God will have His way in my life. and really believe that what i believe is really real.

"for when two or three are gathered in My name, there I am with them."
- matthew 18:20

FUNding

2009-04-30T00:22:00.006-04:00

just a quick fundraising update:

Cupcakes for Change Waterloo raised $1000 :D
Cupcakes for Change Mississauga has about $150 in orders so far
Sunday Snacks raised $205 on Sunday #1

Coming soon: Online donations can be made to my account on Canada

Only $5000 more to go...
God will provide.

"Call unto me and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not."
- jerimiah 33:3

goosebumps.

2009-04-19T21:39:00.002-04:00

"do you ever get that feeling, that you're on the brink of something really amazing but you're scared to tell anyone? and then, then you get these signs that make you realize that you're doing the right thing? it's so amazing, it gives me goosebumps."
- RB on our idea (:

there's a reason for my sleepless nights and it's not school. my heart pounds and my head spins when i think about all the possibilities. the revolution we can create, the changes we can initiate, and most importantly, the people we can help.

this is going to be amazing. because we're going to make it amazing.

great. just what i need before my 3 finals in 2 days.
more to come on [insert project name here].
im SO excited :D

love your neighbour.

2009-04-15T18:12:00.015-04:00

north america, the land of opportunity. families from all over the globe immigrate here in hopes of finding what many of the established already have: stability and happiness. in a society that doesn't have to worry about the obtaining the basic necessities of life, many people never have to think about poverty, nonetheless, relate to it. many people understand that there are wars happening, injustice taking place, and poverty surmounting, but can't relate to those issues because it doesnt happen here, right? wrong.

hi waterloo. never seen poverty? stop and look into the eyes of the homeless man sitting at the plaza. never experienced war or political injustice? talk to a refugee who chose to escape their country with her 5 children, after the government had killed her husband. never had to take desperate measures to provide for your family? talk to the 6.5% of the region who is unemployed (thats 1.2% above the national average).

global issues are not just global. they're local, right down the street from us. no, they may not be as severe locally as they are globally, but they are here. they stare us (literally) in the face, and we avoid eye contact and keep walking.

the definition of community and neighbourhood is constantly changing, with talk that gen y may ruin local communities. in the parable of the good samaritan, a man asks Jesus how he can inherit eternal life. Jesus answers "Love your neighbour as yourself". "And so, who counts as my neighbour?" the man asks. then as Jesus tells a story. as scott harrison puts it "a man [is] beaten near death by robbers. He's stripped naked and lying roadside. [Two] people from his village pass him by, but [an enemy from another village] stops. He picks him up and bandages his wounds. He puts him on his horse and walks alongside until they reach an inn. He checks him in and throws down his Amex and tells them to give whatever he needs until he gets better. "Which of the 3 men," Jesus asks "is the man's neighbour?" The man replied "The one who had mercy on him."

our neighbours are defined as the people who live next doors, the cashiers at the local grocery store, and the joggers passing by. but also encompassing our neighbours include the refugee family that just moved to waterloo, the teens living on the streets, and the homeless man in the plaza.

lets pass a little kindness onto our neighbours, shall we?

a tiny ripple of hope.

2009-04-15T14:04:00.001-04:00

“…Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance….”

i heart the i-heart revolution.

on critics.

2009-04-14T22:52:00.007-04:00

admittedly, i am human and get frustrated sometimes. sometimes at people like my cubicle neighbour having a social gathering while i try to study, and other times with people.

i dream of a world where clean water is commonplace and not a luxury. a world in which caring acts dominate violent ones. simply, i dream of a world in which people can worry about how to live life and not how to survive it.

too much? too ideal? possibly. probably. but a girl can dream right? i can (almost) understand indifference to local and global issues, but dont you dream of the same kind of world? im just trying to help create the world we both dream of. i didn't mean that you should no longer drink water, but just understand the problem with bottled water. the unfortunate truth is that all the social actions that im posting about address issues that directly affect you and your future. you don't have to care, but just be aware. you don't have to help, but just don't criticize. there are many people out there fighting to create a better world for you.

it seems to be the trend wherein if there is someone who is trying to make a positive social impact, there will always be criticism of what they are doing. charities are criticized for not donating 100% of donations towards aid, overseas volunteers are criticized that their work will not be sustainable, and buying a homeless man a coffee is seen as not making a difference. im guilty of the above criticisms, but the underlying principle is that these people are just trying to help. and isn't some help better than nothing? why does help always have to be criticized? maybe so we can help in a better way. nothing spurs passion more than a little criticism and critical thinking. so bring your criticisms and i will bring solutions!

just wait, we're planning a caring revolution. just wait for it :D more to come.

No matter how complex global problems may seem, it is we ourselves who have given rise to them. They cannot be beyond our power to resolve
- Daisaku Ikeda

life. add water.

2009-04-13T20:48:00.011-04:00

today, i continued my rounds of vaccines pre-malawi and only got 1: hepatitis a. the process is fairly good in that i am always required to read an information sheet before receiving the vaccination.

hepatitis a: is an acute infectious disease of the liver caused by Hepatitis A virus, which is most commonly transmitted by the fecal-oral route via contaminated food or drinking water.

wait a second. fecal-oral route? at first i was a bit shocked. how does that happen? how can that happen? but then i actually thought about all the knowledge i've been gathering on clean water solutions. in developing countries where a water hole is shared by one or more villages, animals, and development, how could this not happen?

water is scarce is developing countries, forcing any water to be communal. the water that you bathe in, that animals clean themselves in, that garbage is dumped, is the same water which is drawn to suffice thirst.

pause.

it's not fair. so what can i do? what can you do? support charities that give 100% to clean water solutions such as charity:water. come up with an innovative solution like lifestraw. other than that, i dont know. which is the hardest part. personally, when i think, watch, and read about clean water problems, i get this feeling in my stomach and this anger in my heart. it's not fair.

is hepatitis a something that you have to worry about every time you take a refreshing sip of water?

i know you can't wait. but i promise i'm going to help. help others help and think of new ways to help myself.

goosebumps.

2009-04-09T10:25:00.007-04:00

"do you ever get that feeling, that you're on the brink of something really amazing but you're scared to tell anyone? and then, then you get these signs and realize that you're doing the right thing? it gives me goosebumps."
-RB on our idea (:

there is a reason for my sleepless nights and it's not school. my head spins and my heart pounds when i think about the endless possibilities. the revolution we'll cause, the impact we'll create, and most exciting, the people we'll help.

this is going to be amazing. because we're going to make it amazing :D

great. this is just what i need before my 3 finals in 2 days. more to come on [insert project name here].

imagine that.

2009-04-08T13:52:00.005-04:00

nothing less than amazing. just a little afternoon inspiration.

"it is wild to have reality outpace your dreams".
- jessica jackley flannery, co-founder kiva.org

materializing passion

2009-04-07T23:42:00.008-04:00

"in my twenties, i went to Africa to try and save the continent, only to learn that Africans neither wanted nor needed saving. Indeed when I was there, I saw some of the worst that good intentions, traditional charity, and aid can produce: failed programs that left people in the same or worse conditions."
-the blue sweater, j. novogratz

ad and i got into a short discussion ( thanks for cutting me off ;p ) the other day about materializing passion.
my argument: passion alone is not enough to succeed
his argument: passion is all you need

like above, there are unfortunate cases were passion blinds reality, which leads me to believe that passion will fuel actions but there are also essential elements that need to be added/subtracted to the formula (im such a mathie):

- (western superiority complex)
there has been no shortage of ethnocentric westerners building schools in developing countries that are left empty because they did not address the issue that children must spend hours each day fetching clean water, which is a basic necessity. in three cups of tea, greg mortenson makes it his life mission to build schools for balti children, but along the way also addresses the barriers to education, such as building a bridge! while his focus is building schools, he maintains the ability broaden his passion to not just building schools, but to providing education by whatever means necessary.

+ (educate yourself )
read research read read. build your knowledge.

+ (action)
passion is nothing without action. passion should always be acted upon. for those of you that know me, it's not a secret that i spend more time talking (and blogging?) than i do acting. premal shah, the president of kiva, says that his biggest regret is spending too much time (2 years) talking to people and trying to affirm his idea. and so i've decided to take my first step but there is SO much more to do. ideas/thoughts on actions i can take are very welcome =)

+ (confidence)
those of you that know me also know that i'm not the most confident person in the world. i fear failure. i have been blessed to be surrounded by so many amazing people in my life that it's impossible to feel intimidated. these amazing people are also the same ones who have more confidence in myself than i do. they are the ones that truly believe in me. and through the past year, i've learned that amazing things can happen when i take leaps of faith. i had absolutely NO idea what to do when renjie took me on for the Conference on Social Entrepreneurship. i doubted my skills, knowledge and even time, but it turned out well =) passion is essential, but the confidence in self and to act upon that passion is equally, if not more, important.

= (success)
pas-sion; a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything
passion is an amazing feeling. combined with a humble western heart, deep understanding of everything pertaining to that passion, action, and the confidence to take leaps of faith, great successes will be materialized.
at least i think so =)

kindness in action

2009-04-05T00:01:00.005-04:00

it's times like these, when i can push all the critcism and doubts to the back of my head and just smile at the encouragement. it's these incidences that reinforce my faith in humanity and belief that there are genuinely kind people in the world and im surrounded by them. i forget a box of cupcakes, miscalculate costs, even run down keats way after you and i get this:

"KLLLLLLugo...what will I have to do to make you understand why I did this??...haha

Listen...I really believe in what you're doing...and you're one of the verrry few people whom I believe has the mind and heart for a cause like this...

If I could, I'd buy your plane ticket for you - haha!!...so let's not get caught up in small details, all right?"

thanks HE (:
and RB and the boy from econ344 who told me that they believe in me, and cupcakes are a bonus.

i heart.

2009-04-04T17:40:00.005-04:00

i had a great talk with my coordinator from EI last night (thanks, Helen!), and she presented me with an additional opportunity: coordinate my stats background into the overseas program. her idea was for me to measure the impact of partnered EI projects; this means looking at cost-benefit analysis, population impacts, and growth opportunities to hopefully get government grants and support to make the projects sustainable.

i'm probably one of the few people that would get really excited over doing stats for a summer.

sometimes i don't really understand God's plans. sometimes my heart is unsettled because i have no idea what im doing and why im doing it. if you asked me a couple months ago "why africa?" i'd respond with "because?"
but now i can tell you it's because i want to make a career of international development and the first step is to go overseas. i can say that it's because this is what God has planned for me. when i first applied to EI, Helen told me about Malawi and i've always wanted to go to Malawi! i told her i was in math, and she told me they've been looking for someone with my background. i saw the budget and was a bit overwhelmed, and awhile later she told me that they had overestimated by $1200. And now, I get to use even more of my mathiness. I know that sometimes God works in mysterious ways, but sometimes He is also very clear =)

one day im going to stand before God and He's going to ask me "what did you do on this earth for me?" and i can only pray that i call answer with "everything you planned for me to do." i want to be part of a generation that pursues justice, helps the lost, and heals the broken.

why? watch this.

"one generation commends your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts."
-psalm 145:4

inspire me.

2009-03-31T17:06:00.009-04:00

so here's the ruby&kristina question of the week:
how do you get people to care about the world?

we've ruled out:
1. physical and emotional force ;p
2. guilt-tripping them

we've ruled in:
1. icare project (tbd)
2. by caring ourselves (c/o megan chan)

earlier this year when taimur forced me to talk to sol guy, i managed to hold the conversation past "omg, you're amazing, it's so nice to meet you!!". through wobbly knees and a fluttering heart, i asked him that exact question "how can i get people around me involved, engaged in social issues?"

his response: just focus on what you're doing and people will follow. keep doing what you're doing and that will directly effect those around you. don't worry too much about them. they'll come around.

and he's right. i can't tell people to care, but i can show them how to care. it's not my part to go around telling people that they should care, but it is my part to care for other people.

thanks sol guy. you inspire me (he's another one ruby!)

any other ideas?
i like comments (:

swirls, hearts and butterflies.

2009-03-29T15:40:00.009-04:00

lets lighten it up a bit (:

cupcakes for change has been going extremely well and requiring days of mass baking in the house. we usually bake, stuff and box for 6hours and make about 200 cupcakes. on baking days, our entire kitchen is covered with cupcakes. behind the milk, by the rice cooker, if there's a 2"x2" of free space, it will soon be occupied by a cupcake!

thanks to CT, and my quality assurance girls who constantly taste the cupcakes to make sure they're of utmost quality. they eat the ones that are too big, crooked, not red enough, or have too much icing =P also thanks to jef and MW, there's no one better than engineers to make my boxes.

cupcakes are getting better and better by the batch. last week, i made the BEST batch ever! they were so red and moist, and the icing was mixed to perfection. finally. now is the best time to order! we're also getting more creative with the designs: swirls, hearts, and springtime butterflies.

i gave up cupcakes and chocolate until Easter, and despite the hundreds of cupcakes i've baked, it was never too difficult until charlene made her vanilla cupcakes with a chocolate and condensed milk icing :O mMmm they looked AMAZING!

above fundraising, my baking skills have gone from amateur to expert (my very first batch in february produced brown cupcakes...not red) and i've also been able to reconnect with old friends. thanks everyone :) for anyone back home, i'll bake when i get home, i promise.
for anyone in waterloo, order now or forever hold your peace. i will take exam time orders if you tell me now. they're a great way to keep your sugar levels up.

total collected: $550
total ordered: $750

for the jane's in the world.

2009-03-26T14:56:00.008-04:00

because i need a break and a little inspiration every once in awhile, i turn to TED.

renjie got me the blue sweater when he went to the Harvard Social Enterprise Conference earlier this month. it's a book that presents a solution to bridging the gap between the rich and the poor in an interconnected world. i have only read: 1) renjie's encouraging inscription, 2) the prologue, and 3) two pages of chapter 3, BUT it's already been one of those reads that i feel has been written solely for me.

so as a break, i decided to watch jacqueline novogratz's ted talk. she tells the story of a young woman, Jane, who was born in the slums of Nairobi and dreamt 2 dreams:
1. to become a doctor
2. to marry a good man who would take care of her and her family

as jane grew, her mother fell ill and had to pull her out of school because she could no longer afford it. she married at 18, and after giving birth to her 2nd child, her husband left her for another woman. however, jane's aspirations remained. she began a business re-selling dresses and has recently moved to the suburbs. when asked if she would miss her home, jane responded with a definite "no." and when asked about her dreams, jane responded with the following of how her dreams have changed:
1. yes, she wanted to be a doctor, but more than that, what she really wanted to do was serve and heal people. so now she spends 2 days a week in therapy with other HIV/AIDS patients and provides them not will pills or medication, but with hope.
2. yes, she dreamt of a great man, but more than that, what she really wanted was a family filled with love. and now, she has children that she loves piercingly.

"when systems are broken...it's an opportunity to truly build a world where we can extend services and products to all human beings."

-j. novogratz

maybe she's right. maybe this whole economic downturn is not a downturn at all. it presents an opportunity to revamp this system, this world that has become corrupt and has lost focus. maybe the goal is not to "return to how things were pre-recession", but to fix the brokeness. maybe this is our opportunity to start all over and help others start fresh. because we know that it's only in times of crisis, that one's true character shows.

will our generation step up?
i will. for the jane's in the world.

sharing is caring.

2009-03-24T16:36:00.006-04:00

this past sunday, i went to creekside and ken talked about affluenza. we went to 8:30AM service and between all ken's points, the one thing that resonated with me was:

there's a reason you have this much.

sometimes i just sit and marvel at how blessed i am. with food on the table, clothes on my back, and a roof over my head, i sit in the richest 25% of the world. whether or not i actually deserve to be here is not an issue that i want to wrap my head around. instead of wondering if there is also a reason that there are millions of people that live in poverty in our world, the important thing is to realize just that. that today, in the world that i live, there is an incredible gap between the affluent and those living in poverty. and instead of focusing why and how this happened, the important thing to focus on 'what can i do with all this?'

share.

because it's not fair that i get the choice between dasani, aquafina, nestle, vitamin or tap water when women in africa filter their water through their dresses to get rid of leeches (scott harrison's latest charity: water display).

when i say 'share' i dont mean that i'm going to fill 2 suitcases with all my material possessions and give every last item away to the people i meet in Malawi (however if a woman really really wanted my grey long hoodie that has travelled the world with me, it's all hers). a big misconception is that people in poverty are not happy with what they have. it's a well-known fact that money does not have a direct correlation with happiness. just as billionaires can be depressed, those in poverty can also be joyful. i want to share the knowledge i've gained, the education i've acquired, the passion i have for a better world, and all the material goods i've been blessed with to in turn bless others. i want to share what i have, not in hopes to provide a "better life" but to provide a life in which 10-year-old girls are not orphaned and left to care for 4 siblings, a life in which towns can experience the freshness of clean water, and a life where teens worry about how to celebrate their next birthday instead of worrying if they'll outlive hiv/aids to get to their next birthday.

please share (:

world water day

2009-03-22T23:42:00.007-04:00

for the 1.1 billion people in the world that do not have access to clean water
for the 4500 children that will die today due to water-related illnesses
for the women and young girls that walk over 3h a day to get water for their families

world water day

HELP is coming.

do what?

2009-03-20T11:02:00.007-04:00

despite the months of research and applications, and years of desire for missions, it only dawned on me the other day that i'm going to africa. i was a bit shocked and responded to my own thought with "i'm doing what?!"

so what am i doing?
simply put, i'll be heading to malawi to lead programs and to monitor projects being done. The programs will range from teaching English to teaching HIV/AIDS awareness and education. The projects will range from water sanitation to agriculture to microfinancing, depending on what is available. i'll be doing field visits to these programs and also do some marketing to attract volunteers to Malawi and update others on the status of these projects.

but really, what am i doing?
i'm travelling over the Atlantic to a place where I know no one and know nothing about (except to greet others with "Moni") in an attempt to "help". it sounds like i have my work cut out for me.

and what do i want to do?
i've really been questioning and wondering what exactly it is that i hope to accomplish while in Malawi. after days of contemplation, i was hoping to have an intellectual and inspiring answer, but i don't. i don't think i will know what it is i'm meant to do or why i'm going there until i get there.

i'm constantly being bombarded with criticisms of aid in developing countries. criticism that monetary donations will not be put 100% to the cause; criticism that volunteering is not sustainable, that 2 months is not enough time to be affective, and criticism of the North American mentality that our way is the right way. so the question remains: "how does a girl like me effectively aid the issues of poverty in developing nations?" by beginning with an open mind and heart. by simply following God's plans for me and just going. just go. that's the first step and He will fill in the details.

cupcakes for change

2009-03-17T19:21:00.006-04:00

Last thursday I began fundraiser #1: Cupcakes for Change. One week later, I have collected $200 and have orders for $590(I will start a counter on the side once I learn how to..Ruby?).

The response has been truly amazing and motivates me to put everyone's money to good use. I promise I will not disappoint.

I baked from 4:00-10:00PM last night and made a remarkable mess of the kitchen, but managed to make about 200 cupcakes. Thank you to the girls for all the help (LC, MW, CT).

Fundraising tip of the week: Grocery stores are usually willing to donate some ingredients if you tell you are fundraising and bring a letter. But don't expect to walk in with your letter and out with your stuff ;p

(:

2009-03-12T22:55:00.001-04:00

moni (hello).